Zen (AF)

Driving in and out of New York City is rarely uneventful. The Bruckner Expressway, which I loathe, is the most direct route for me to get in and out of Manhattan. The Bruckner is almost always jammed up along the way. Leaving the city, as you enter the onto the Bruckner, there is a merge. [...]


Each year on my birthday my dad used to take me to breakfast at the same place - the Moonakis Cafe on Cape Cod. It was our family's favorite spot, so we'd go there as a family lots of weekends but, on my birthday, my dad would take me there by myself. It was a [...]


December 26, 2017 Today is our Cancerversary. Exactly one year ago, we ended up at the hospital with Calum, never to return to life before cancer. In so many ways it feels like yesterday, but I know we have come so, so far from where we were a year ago. If you have read my [...]

Ups and Downs

November 27, 2017 It has been a long and interesting week of highs and lows. Tuesday morning was probably the low point. We woke to take Calum into the hospital for his “spinal tap”. Before Calum got Leukemia, the phrase “spinal tap” might as well have been a fictional procedure, having little-to-no meaning to me, [...]

Sorry, not sorry

September 21, 2017 The last few weeks have been a little rollercoaster-y. I’m pretty sure that’s a word. Getting used to the first week of long-term maintenance (LTM) at home was, like my teary meltdown in front of our doctor a few weeks ago, unexpectedly emotional. I was having a hard time coming to grips [...]

Starting a new normal

We began LTM (long term maintenance) on Monday. It went as well as it could have gone and Calum’s health is right where it needs to be. Going into it, I had a very heavy heart. The idea of starting back up on chemo again after this nice time off was nauseating and, after a [...]